Dead Space: Downfall

Dead Space was one of the most fun, horrifying experiences I have had in recent years without having to summon up some actual zombies myself. Note: Do not try that at home, kids. It's at best very messy.

Anyways, I ADORED the game for reasons that many of you have probably already heard from one source or another, so of course I was rather eager when I heard that an animated film based on the backstory of the game was on the way. I popped right down to Meijer in the middle of the night to buy it. Within thirty seconds of putting it into my dvd player, I knew I had made a horrible, horrible mistake.

I proceeded to spend twenty minutes watching unskippable previews for bad low budget horror films that I had little to no interest in. You may condemn me for mentioning bad previews in a movie review, but when the movie is ONLY available on DVD, it's a part of the viewing experience as much as anything else is. In any case, after I wethered through that onslaught, I hit play on the actual movie. The animation was that disgusting style I call Americanime. Now, I'm an anime nerd. I love the style, the design, everything about it. What I HATE is when American artists use the fact that anime is popular as an excuse to animate less frames per second, thus leading to that "popular" anime choppieness. It's downright lazy is all it is. In any case this film was literally INFESTED with choppy animation whenever they could get away with it. The dialogue throughout was very badly written, and the voice acting... well... Let's just say the highlight of the voiceacting was recognizing the voice of Cat. From Catdog. Yeah. It really kind of ruined it for me, too.

My main point is that essentially everything about the movie was bad for NO reason. Still, I was a big fan of the game, so I stuck it through, trying hard to not get too upset. Honestly, I was rewarded with some very awesome gore payoffs. That's one thing the movie had in SPADES. The creatures were all properly designed to match, and it pulled even less punches on the gore than the game did, which has to be some kind of record. All in all, the gore kind of saved the rest of it, but only for people like me.

If mindless droning gore and violence is not your idea of a lovely evening, avoid this one at all costs. If, however, you love to see the red splatter, or are a huge fan of the game, it provides some interesting distraction.

6 out of 10 floating body parts.

Longest RPG I have EVER played

I'm a Role Playing Gamer by nature, and for the most part have played just about every RPG out there. Normally, when marketing an RPG developers will claim that their game boasts up to and over 80 hours of gameplay. The only time I have ever reached that amount of time was on Final Fantasy 7 making sure I did everything. And by everything I mean obsessively getting characters to level 99, maxing out Knights of the Round (three times) along with other absurd needless tasks ultimately over preparing for the Emerald Weapon. So, in all actuality Final Fantasy 7 only took me 40 hours to beat the first time, and subsequent play-throughs less and less time. Mastering it only took 86 hours. So I was 6 hours over the average boasted amount doing tasks that were just astronomically useless and only something a nerdy fanboy like me would ever do.

But I'm here to discuss Dragon Quest 8. I just recently got around to playing this behemoth of a game the past few months. I have had a lot on my slate and when I tackle an RPG I like to ensure that it is given the proper time and care. I hate stopping an RPG partway through for another game and then totally losing my place when I come back to it. Where am I going with all of this you ask? Well, Dragon Quest 8 like the title of the article implies is the LONGEST RPG I have ever played. What's more is I haven't even beat it yet. I am damn close though, and pine to finish it by the weekend.

Let's answer the first and most obvious question, is the game any good? Of course it is! I wouldn't have kept going otherwise. The only RPG I have ever outright quit playing because it stunk so much was Star Ocean 3. I'll write another article about the ways in which that game blew chunks. Still, Dragon Quest 8 is a marvelous game. Its best assets are in its amazing graphics, wonderful music score, and well developed characters which is lacking in many newer RPGs. Also, DQ8 has the amazing ability to make me want to explore every nook and cranny of the game. Never have I really felt like I was playing an adventure than with this game. Due to its light tone and atmosphere the game never pushes you in a sense of urgency allowing you to explore whenever you want to and make it feel fun.

The downsides of the game are minimal at best. The battle system can get repetitive during the game, but when you come across bosses the game ramps up to a degree of strategy that I have honestly never seen in a RPG. Normally I'll whip out the move which crushes the earth and is so overpowered you wonder why the developers made it. Most Final Fantasy games allow you to level up beyond your foe to a point where hitting the attack command is the only thing you need to do. DQ8 says screw that and every boss fight is a new and interesting challenge with no real key move to bank on. This becomes a downside only in that the game produces ZERO cave save points. So you run through a cave that takes you roughly 1 hour or less and get owned by some giant Mole boss and what do you get? A game over screen is what. And yeah that cave you went through? You have to do that again too. And anything you forgot to save before adventuring into said cave.

So what makes the game so absurdly long? The answer lies with the games level up system, and expansive world. Never before have I worked so hard to obtain levels in a game before. I am currently 57 hours in nearing the end of the game with no side quests completed for the most part and my characters are on average level 37. Doing the math that's .64 levels per hour. Grindfest is an understatement with this game, and half the reason why playtime is above and beyond my usual 40 hours spent beating other RPGs. The other half is the expansive world coupled with random encounters. Make no mistake Dragon Quest 8 is a large game. Navigating from town to town on foot can take well over an hour or more if you are under-leveled. The random encounters make things all the worse because the enemies come in large numbers and are tough to take down in one turn. Usually it takes three to four turns to get out of a battle, which is a lot by comparison to other RPGs.

Also, let's not forget shopping. While leveling up poses its challenges it's also not an effective way to ensure victory over bosses. Leveling gives negligible status upgrades as opposed to equipment which tends to be very pricey for how much gold you get per battle.

All the above is what attributes DQ8 being the longest RPG I have ever played, and the final hour tally is as of yet unresolved. Will I hit that elusive 80 hours? I doubt it, but we shall see.

*"Flee-party is unable to flee" *hits power button* "flee this b#*@$!"*

Mirror's Edge Unsung Hero of 2008

It's been a while, I know you all miss me. Well this is probably late news for anyone who cares but I'm going to discuss Mirror's Edge. I'm going to sift through the lies it should not have received and cooperate shilling it should have received.

So what is Mirror's Edge? I assume you don't know because the sales of this game were abysmal. Mirror's Edge is a game where you are a hot Asian chick with monkey like acrobatic skills who can maneuver herself around just about any terrain (preferably 21st century colorless architecture) by means of leaping, ducking, diving, rolling, and of course running. As a game, this is just about as cool an idea as you can get. It is at its very basic a first person platformer. So why didn't it sell well you ask? There are probably a few reasons I'll touch on later, but first I'm going to tell you why it should have sold well.

Mirror's Edge spans 10 levels of heart wrenching, death defying leaps and chase sequences. A game that introduces itself as one where you run away from the police while delivering sensitive materials quickly (in the second level mind you) boils down to uncovering some fiendish government plot involving your sister. So it's up to you to save her!

Okay the plot is a mess, but for anyone who touched the demo knows what is enjoyable about the game. That simply is the running mechanics. You can scale the city scape in nearly limitless ways, and try your best to keep a fast pace going. Keeping a fast pace is why it was snubbed by many reviewers. While it is possible to play through these levels without stopping much or at all, the first play through will often leave you lost and confused for what happens next. This can be frustrating but any gaming perfectionist (not someone wanting to whiz through the game just to review it) understands that it will take patience to do well and map out quick destinations. So how can I fault the game for adding puzzle elements? I can't.

Outside of the main quest are the time trials and speed runs. One mode lets you try and race through one of the 10 levels and the other gives you tiny portions to see how fast you can go through them. This is where the game really shines, as it challenges you specifically to find the fastest routes. If you're not into getting better times and improving through practice this is not the game for you, clearly.

On to the most complained about aspect of the game, the combat. Not too sure what the issue is as there is no point in the game where it forces you to fight anything. In fact it's always more beneficial not to fight. But to speak of the system for a moment in no instance did I feel it was poor in any way. Personally, it feels broken for how easy it is. Every enemy I came across I would run up to him do a slide low kick to the groin and proceed to finish him off. From there weapons can be acquired if you want them and then shoot to death the rest of the enemies. The only time where combat is difficult is if you decide to fist fight one of those SWAT members with a mini-gun. Generally speaking that's just a bad idea anyway so I can't blame the developers for judging that if one should fight someone with a mini-gun then that person should die a horrible death.

So what I'm trying to say is, play Mirror's Edge!

"A leap of faith is retarded, there's spikes at the bottom."