Dead Space: Downfall

Dead Space was one of the most fun, horrifying experiences I have had in recent years without having to summon up some actual zombies myself. Note: Do not try that at home, kids. It's at best very messy.

Anyways, I ADORED the game for reasons that many of you have probably already heard from one source or another, so of course I was rather eager when I heard that an animated film based on the backstory of the game was on the way. I popped right down to Meijer in the middle of the night to buy it. Within thirty seconds of putting it into my dvd player, I knew I had made a horrible, horrible mistake.

I proceeded to spend twenty minutes watching unskippable previews for bad low budget horror films that I had little to no interest in. You may condemn me for mentioning bad previews in a movie review, but when the movie is ONLY available on DVD, it's a part of the viewing experience as much as anything else is. In any case, after I wethered through that onslaught, I hit play on the actual movie. The animation was that disgusting style I call Americanime. Now, I'm an anime nerd. I love the style, the design, everything about it. What I HATE is when American artists use the fact that anime is popular as an excuse to animate less frames per second, thus leading to that "popular" anime choppieness. It's downright lazy is all it is. In any case this film was literally INFESTED with choppy animation whenever they could get away with it. The dialogue throughout was very badly written, and the voice acting... well... Let's just say the highlight of the voiceacting was recognizing the voice of Cat. From Catdog. Yeah. It really kind of ruined it for me, too.

My main point is that essentially everything about the movie was bad for NO reason. Still, I was a big fan of the game, so I stuck it through, trying hard to not get too upset. Honestly, I was rewarded with some very awesome gore payoffs. That's one thing the movie had in SPADES. The creatures were all properly designed to match, and it pulled even less punches on the gore than the game did, which has to be some kind of record. All in all, the gore kind of saved the rest of it, but only for people like me.

If mindless droning gore and violence is not your idea of a lovely evening, avoid this one at all costs. If, however, you love to see the red splatter, or are a huge fan of the game, it provides some interesting distraction.

6 out of 10 floating body parts.

Longest RPG I have EVER played

I'm a Role Playing Gamer by nature, and for the most part have played just about every RPG out there. Normally, when marketing an RPG developers will claim that their game boasts up to and over 80 hours of gameplay. The only time I have ever reached that amount of time was on Final Fantasy 7 making sure I did everything. And by everything I mean obsessively getting characters to level 99, maxing out Knights of the Round (three times) along with other absurd needless tasks ultimately over preparing for the Emerald Weapon. So, in all actuality Final Fantasy 7 only took me 40 hours to beat the first time, and subsequent play-throughs less and less time. Mastering it only took 86 hours. So I was 6 hours over the average boasted amount doing tasks that were just astronomically useless and only something a nerdy fanboy like me would ever do.

But I'm here to discuss Dragon Quest 8. I just recently got around to playing this behemoth of a game the past few months. I have had a lot on my slate and when I tackle an RPG I like to ensure that it is given the proper time and care. I hate stopping an RPG partway through for another game and then totally losing my place when I come back to it. Where am I going with all of this you ask? Well, Dragon Quest 8 like the title of the article implies is the LONGEST RPG I have ever played. What's more is I haven't even beat it yet. I am damn close though, and pine to finish it by the weekend.

Let's answer the first and most obvious question, is the game any good? Of course it is! I wouldn't have kept going otherwise. The only RPG I have ever outright quit playing because it stunk so much was Star Ocean 3. I'll write another article about the ways in which that game blew chunks. Still, Dragon Quest 8 is a marvelous game. Its best assets are in its amazing graphics, wonderful music score, and well developed characters which is lacking in many newer RPGs. Also, DQ8 has the amazing ability to make me want to explore every nook and cranny of the game. Never have I really felt like I was playing an adventure than with this game. Due to its light tone and atmosphere the game never pushes you in a sense of urgency allowing you to explore whenever you want to and make it feel fun.

The downsides of the game are minimal at best. The battle system can get repetitive during the game, but when you come across bosses the game ramps up to a degree of strategy that I have honestly never seen in a RPG. Normally I'll whip out the move which crushes the earth and is so overpowered you wonder why the developers made it. Most Final Fantasy games allow you to level up beyond your foe to a point where hitting the attack command is the only thing you need to do. DQ8 says screw that and every boss fight is a new and interesting challenge with no real key move to bank on. This becomes a downside only in that the game produces ZERO cave save points. So you run through a cave that takes you roughly 1 hour or less and get owned by some giant Mole boss and what do you get? A game over screen is what. And yeah that cave you went through? You have to do that again too. And anything you forgot to save before adventuring into said cave.

So what makes the game so absurdly long? The answer lies with the games level up system, and expansive world. Never before have I worked so hard to obtain levels in a game before. I am currently 57 hours in nearing the end of the game with no side quests completed for the most part and my characters are on average level 37. Doing the math that's .64 levels per hour. Grindfest is an understatement with this game, and half the reason why playtime is above and beyond my usual 40 hours spent beating other RPGs. The other half is the expansive world coupled with random encounters. Make no mistake Dragon Quest 8 is a large game. Navigating from town to town on foot can take well over an hour or more if you are under-leveled. The random encounters make things all the worse because the enemies come in large numbers and are tough to take down in one turn. Usually it takes three to four turns to get out of a battle, which is a lot by comparison to other RPGs.

Also, let's not forget shopping. While leveling up poses its challenges it's also not an effective way to ensure victory over bosses. Leveling gives negligible status upgrades as opposed to equipment which tends to be very pricey for how much gold you get per battle.

All the above is what attributes DQ8 being the longest RPG I have ever played, and the final hour tally is as of yet unresolved. Will I hit that elusive 80 hours? I doubt it, but we shall see.

*"Flee-party is unable to flee" *hits power button* "flee this b#*@$!"*

Mirror's Edge Unsung Hero of 2008

It's been a while, I know you all miss me. Well this is probably late news for anyone who cares but I'm going to discuss Mirror's Edge. I'm going to sift through the lies it should not have received and cooperate shilling it should have received.

So what is Mirror's Edge? I assume you don't know because the sales of this game were abysmal. Mirror's Edge is a game where you are a hot Asian chick with monkey like acrobatic skills who can maneuver herself around just about any terrain (preferably 21st century colorless architecture) by means of leaping, ducking, diving, rolling, and of course running. As a game, this is just about as cool an idea as you can get. It is at its very basic a first person platformer. So why didn't it sell well you ask? There are probably a few reasons I'll touch on later, but first I'm going to tell you why it should have sold well.

Mirror's Edge spans 10 levels of heart wrenching, death defying leaps and chase sequences. A game that introduces itself as one where you run away from the police while delivering sensitive materials quickly (in the second level mind you) boils down to uncovering some fiendish government plot involving your sister. So it's up to you to save her!

Okay the plot is a mess, but for anyone who touched the demo knows what is enjoyable about the game. That simply is the running mechanics. You can scale the city scape in nearly limitless ways, and try your best to keep a fast pace going. Keeping a fast pace is why it was snubbed by many reviewers. While it is possible to play through these levels without stopping much or at all, the first play through will often leave you lost and confused for what happens next. This can be frustrating but any gaming perfectionist (not someone wanting to whiz through the game just to review it) understands that it will take patience to do well and map out quick destinations. So how can I fault the game for adding puzzle elements? I can't.

Outside of the main quest are the time trials and speed runs. One mode lets you try and race through one of the 10 levels and the other gives you tiny portions to see how fast you can go through them. This is where the game really shines, as it challenges you specifically to find the fastest routes. If you're not into getting better times and improving through practice this is not the game for you, clearly.

On to the most complained about aspect of the game, the combat. Not too sure what the issue is as there is no point in the game where it forces you to fight anything. In fact it's always more beneficial not to fight. But to speak of the system for a moment in no instance did I feel it was poor in any way. Personally, it feels broken for how easy it is. Every enemy I came across I would run up to him do a slide low kick to the groin and proceed to finish him off. From there weapons can be acquired if you want them and then shoot to death the rest of the enemies. The only time where combat is difficult is if you decide to fist fight one of those SWAT members with a mini-gun. Generally speaking that's just a bad idea anyway so I can't blame the developers for judging that if one should fight someone with a mini-gun then that person should die a horrible death.

So what I'm trying to say is, play Mirror's Edge!

"A leap of faith is retarded, there's spikes at the bottom."

PC Gamer?

So I think I may have a problem. I think I'm becoming a PC gamer! *crowd gasp!* Yeah, I know what you're all thinking, I cannot be saved and I cannot be spared the torment of hours upon hours of tweaking, modding, hacking, upgrading, patching, threading, *gasp wheeze.* Truly, these torturous tortures are my fate, and alas, I am not strong enough to resist the thorough lashings of it all.

Honestly though, I am enamored by the PC gaming world. How does it put up with itself? Sure, I'm a lightweight only about 2 years of full fledged PC gaming experience (more if you count the dark years of Diablo II) and wonder why anyone deals with the idea that they won't be playing a new game at its optimum level out of the box, ever. I have had problems with just about every PC game I have ever bought, from Gears of War's save files deleting on their own, to Bioshock having no sound, to the worst problems in Knights of the Old Republic 2 having every PC game problem imaginable.

But you know what? I revel in these problems. I spend hours searching forums for solutions, chatting with others on what works and what doesn't. Searching newegg for the latest and greatest PC parts. Learning what makes a PC tick. Overclocking faq's and FRAPS programs abound! Honestly, I get bored with a PC game now if I've solved how to get it to run. It's kinda sad really. Or maybe it's like working on a used car and getting it to hum just the way you like it.

I am here to help my fellow man though. Below I have a list of the top ten signs you are becoming a PC gamer.

1. You wave your hand in front of your face trying to determine how many frames per second it's going.
2. When opening a bag of marshmellows you wonder to yourself just how far you have to go to make the inside of your computer optimal for making smores.
3. You think the Matrix has you.
4. Things aren't going right so you believe you have to create more men to mine crystals.
5. Honestly believing that sleeping is a form of putting your brain in hibernate mode.
6. First person shooters rarely show your feet, and never show your midsection, you freak out every time you see your sternum.
7. Looking at your shadow, you wonder what shader effects are turned on and what more could be done.
8. Why doesn't grass appear out of nowhere as you walk?
9. You accidentally play a graphics card in a Yu-gi-oh! match.
10. Worst of all, you start buying PC games just to see how well your system can run it.

My friends, if you have any of the above problems please go to your nearest Gamestop and buy a console game, you'll be glad you did. It works right away, always. You'll spend more time playing it than tweaking it, unless you're a tard and put the disc in upside-down.

*A 250ww power supply is not enough to sustain a Nivida 8600GT graphics card, lesson learned*

Game I would like to see (1)

Politics: The Sweet Science

Into politics? Love and hate them? Want to see your favorite politicians duke it out? Well look no further than Politics: The Sweet Science.

Game play for Politics: The Sweet Science goes like so. As many Americans know our politicians like to spat at each other with words, not fists. Politics: The Sweet Science will pay homage to that ideal. Simply put the game play is a blend of ‘speed’ and ‘scrabble’. Two players enter their politician and are given a health bar and seven letters. As fast as they can they must come up with words. The longer the word the more damage is inflicted on the opponent. Obviously as you make words you are given more letters. First politician to string together the most words and eliminate the other politician wins. It will take roughly 20 four letter words to down an opponent.

Sounds simple right? Well of course there are bonuses and combos that can be done. Let’s list them.

1. Combos are allotted if you create 2 or more words before the opponent can come up with 1 word. This gives you a health bonus depending on the size of the words strung together.

2. Just like in scrabble word bonuses are in effect. Different from scrabble though, certain letters are assigned to double and triple word scores instead of spaces (since there are none).

3. Each politician has their own Political Power which can only be used once per fight. For instance, one can slow the speed of the opponent; one has gradual heal and so on.

4. Creating a word that does not exist will actually damage yourself that amount, so spelling counts!

Animation: The top portion of the screen will handle all the animation of the politicians battling it out. The bottom will have your letters, and the middle of the screen is where you place your letters to confirm a word. Far left and far right will have your health bar listed vertically along with your Political Power.

Game Modes: Regular VS mode, Online VS mode, Rise to the White House which is the single player campaign in which you ‘debeat’ other politicians for political supremacy, and Filibuster which is a survival mode essentially seeing how long you can last against an infinite amount of politicians.

This game should be fast paced and hectic fun despite the relatively boring context.

*I have a bad feeling about this*

SPoor!

Ok, the game isn't out and I haven't played it. But reading early reviews of the game has reassured my initial impressions of the game. Through all its charm and intricacy Spore gives us routinely simplistic game play elements not meant for your average gamer, and certainly not your average PC gamer.

Spore may have creativity in spades but what it appears to lack judging from early reviews is game play elements worth its salt. Starting off as bacteria Spore is at its simplest (which should come as no surprise) as you set out running away from larger bacteria and eating smaller ones to then get out of the primordial soup.

From here you reach land and interact with other species really just trying to keep things level. With only one or two game play options talking and eating Spore continues to be simple.

You then get to the tribal stage where your new goal is to ally or destroy other tribes around you. This is RTS at its most basic with only one resource to gather and two options of ally or attack. Snore!

The games next stage is the civilization stage which, really is just another way of saying tribal stage with a prettier city-scape.

Lastly, you reach the space stage where you can travel to distant galaxies destroying or creating where you see fit. Your only real options here are terrifying a planet, taking it over, or inhabiting it freely, or destroying it. This last stage is what I predicted to be the most boring of all, but actually gives you the most options other than the creature creator of course. But my hopes overall were destroyed when I learned this was not an online experience.

When I first heard that we could travel to other planets I thought we'd be interacting with other online users at the same time. I couldn't have been more wrong. The other creatures that inhabit these planets are ones that are downloaded in the Spore system or ones that are pre-made. So essentially you're still dealing with the computer AI.

So that's it. The game completes here and then you are given the option to start over at any of the stages mentioned above. Bacteria, harvest?, Tribal, Civilization, and Space.

Spore appears to be exactly what I thought it would be. The charm in it is how well the creature designer works, and then you essentially get to watch your little dude walk around and do stuff for a while. Not really a game by any standard in my mind. Not really entertaining either. The limited options this game gives the user screams 'casual gamer.'

*Evolve this @#$%!*

Star Wars: Force Unleashed (demo) a Porter Perspective

Yay, another Star Wars game! After the countless awful games that Lucas Arts has thrown at us since Rouge Squadron III: Rebel Garbage we get another potential box with "Star Wars" labeled on it to add to our 'Tower of Useless Fanboy cash-ins.' And please don't email me with a better title for our tower, I like em' long and juicy.

However, if things go the way of this demo...*insert cliche'd Star Wars gushy praiseful phrase here*

The demo beings with a riviting cutscene with Darth Faker (voice isn't actually James Earl Jones) telling his never before mentioned apprentice how he should go about vanquishing the remaining Jedi that Vader was too mutilated (Obi beat down yall!) to take down. He also encourages him to kill off all things that may bear witness to the coming onslaught. As far as covert Jedi missions go, Vader sure didn't plan things well. I mean I can understand not wanting anyone to know you have an apprentice who wields the power of 1,000 mighty vagabonds (we'll get to that) but to send him to highly populated empireal complexes that apparently harbors a Jedi Vader missed just seems a tad....lazy?

Anyway, plot descrepecies aside letting us slay stormtroopers whether forced or not I guess isn't a bad thing. To get to the game, you control the apprentice who despite his odd if even mentally retarted way of holding a lightsabre is perhaps more powerful that Goku in Dragon Ball Z. Don't get me wrong, the way he holds the lightsabre is COOL but realistically borderline retarded and makes me wonder why Darth Vader didn't force bitch slap him for that filthy habit in Young Sith Training class.

Despite this, as the apprentice you can force bitch slap everyone with varing powers right from the get go. The basics are there, force pull, push, force explode? and force lightning. As far as I played it everything felt smooth as butter with minor annoyances. The lock on system concerning what you want to lift is obviously lacking. But actually thinking about it I can't think how they could improve it other than freezing the game in a super bullet time and letting you select any item you see to then start the action up again. It really isn't all bad and what you end up force holding can come into use on the fly whether you meant for it to or not. Force lightning is probably by far the easist to use since you just press it and things die.

The lightsabre portions are also free and easy. You won't find an inordinate of amount of combos like you would in Devil May Cry or God of War, but it's still fun none the less and I don't see it getting too stale since you combine force powers with 70% of what you're doing anyway.

The demo has you going down hallway after hallway killing off stormtroopers and slamming things into this or that. There weren't any puzzle elements to speak of unless you count using the force to unlock a door by moving the joysticks up and down as the game TELLS you to do so.

And the demo wraps up with you fighting a chicken walker (reference understood by Star Wars fans, if you don't get it then serves you right for reading something about Star Wars!). This battle is rather lackluster as you spam lighting and lightsabre at it until its hitpoints reach a certian amount to which you then "Simon says" your way to victory. By that I mean if you've played God of War it's the same thing where a button displays and you react by pressing it when prompted to see a pretty attack that you would otherwise be too stupid to do if the developers gave you the button sequence to do it normally....feel the force of my disdain!

The major flaw I see in the game so far stem from the enemies mainly. I've heard a lot of flack about the controls but I really didn't have that problem. The enemies on the other hand are extremely stupid, though maybe on purpose paying homage to stormtrooper I.Q's everywhere. Never the less, I was annoyed at how simplistic they were. They stand in one spot shooting at you awating you to either throw something at them or stab them relentlessly. They don't seem to work together or come up with uniqe ideas of dealing with a demi-god, but still I would have liked to see something more here.

Conclusion: I'll probably buy it.

*may the force be kickin' it real dawg, peace!*

Forgot this Existed

So I'm thumbing through google under the search of 'Acefondu' because I am indeed that vain, and stumble across this little ditty of a website. Yes I am indeed aware that I am associated with Start Button News no matter how zealously I deny the claims. Google generously links me to the one and only post I have sent to this relatively barren wasteland of a blog submitted back in 2006. How fortuitous for me that I have now discovered a way to mitigate my boredom by wielding the might of the 26 letter alphabet (checks to ensure Cuba hasn't added that sensual 27th letter....good).

So without further ado or do-do if you're 5 years old, I shall type up a review of the Star Wars: Forced Unleashed demo and a few other things if I have time.

*search 'acefondu' on google. You'll get 10 pages of my gaming insights on various websites, you know better ones than this...haha.*

Damn you Lincoln! I mean KEITH!

I'll get you for this, Keith... I'll get you for this...

Watch Out Favre!

It looks like EA has decided to find another loop hole with their Madden cover athlete. Apparently finding retiring Pro Footballers did not help, now they are turning to co-host of the Start Button News podcast Kyle Fulton.

Roster updates will be showing up on the 360 and ps3 shortly...

Madden 2009 Review

This is year twenty for the Madden franchise, and while many people consider each new edition as just a $60 roster update, this game is more than just a roster update.

Now there was a big to-do about the cover athlete Brett Favre, and if you listen to the podcast you should be up to date with the latest on him. Since he was traded to the New York Jets, this prompted EA to create a new cover with Favre in a Jets uniform available for you to download an print off.

Now one of the new "features" to this year's edition is the ability to rewind. Basically this gives you a do over, and in single player having it once is alright, but having it as unlimited has proven to be not only cheap, but also the only way the Lions can make it to the Super Bowl. Now if you happen to be playing against a friend...TURN IT OFF BEFORE YOU START!!!! This is the worst feature to be allowed in multi-player. I can force a fumble or an INT but with a tap of the button it brings the play back for a do over. After the second game of trying this feature, my friend and I agreeded to no use this ever again in multiplayer.

The graphics look great, there is always a improvement over the previous year's installment. However, and this is nitpicking on my part, but at the begining of the game when they show the stadium that the game is going to be played. Now being from Detroit, I know the area around Ford Field. I am really dissapointed on how horrible the stadium look and the fact that they have the wrong building in the skyline. More so that they have the buildings in the wrong locations.

This is a nice an full game, but it gets old kinda quick. Maybe Madden 2010 will be better... but without having any compition, I have my doubts.

7 out of 10

*yawn* Is it time to come back?

This is the first blog post in over a year, and what a year it has been. Kyle and Porter both bought PS3's. I myself found my 360 starting to go on the blink. I have also graduated college, which is most of the reason there has been so little content coming from the Start Button Crew.

But dry your eyes mate! New material is here. Already we have two audio podcasts and more just waiting to be recorded. Go check them out one of two ways

1. http://startbuttonnews.podomatic.com

2. Go to the iTunes store, and search for "Start Button News"

Go do it now.... We will wait for you!

--Keith Dotson