PC Gamer?

So I think I may have a problem. I think I'm becoming a PC gamer! *crowd gasp!* Yeah, I know what you're all thinking, I cannot be saved and I cannot be spared the torment of hours upon hours of tweaking, modding, hacking, upgrading, patching, threading, *gasp wheeze.* Truly, these torturous tortures are my fate, and alas, I am not strong enough to resist the thorough lashings of it all.

Honestly though, I am enamored by the PC gaming world. How does it put up with itself? Sure, I'm a lightweight only about 2 years of full fledged PC gaming experience (more if you count the dark years of Diablo II) and wonder why anyone deals with the idea that they won't be playing a new game at its optimum level out of the box, ever. I have had problems with just about every PC game I have ever bought, from Gears of War's save files deleting on their own, to Bioshock having no sound, to the worst problems in Knights of the Old Republic 2 having every PC game problem imaginable.

But you know what? I revel in these problems. I spend hours searching forums for solutions, chatting with others on what works and what doesn't. Searching newegg for the latest and greatest PC parts. Learning what makes a PC tick. Overclocking faq's and FRAPS programs abound! Honestly, I get bored with a PC game now if I've solved how to get it to run. It's kinda sad really. Or maybe it's like working on a used car and getting it to hum just the way you like it.

I am here to help my fellow man though. Below I have a list of the top ten signs you are becoming a PC gamer.

1. You wave your hand in front of your face trying to determine how many frames per second it's going.
2. When opening a bag of marshmellows you wonder to yourself just how far you have to go to make the inside of your computer optimal for making smores.
3. You think the Matrix has you.
4. Things aren't going right so you believe you have to create more men to mine crystals.
5. Honestly believing that sleeping is a form of putting your brain in hibernate mode.
6. First person shooters rarely show your feet, and never show your midsection, you freak out every time you see your sternum.
7. Looking at your shadow, you wonder what shader effects are turned on and what more could be done.
8. Why doesn't grass appear out of nowhere as you walk?
9. You accidentally play a graphics card in a Yu-gi-oh! match.
10. Worst of all, you start buying PC games just to see how well your system can run it.

My friends, if you have any of the above problems please go to your nearest Gamestop and buy a console game, you'll be glad you did. It works right away, always. You'll spend more time playing it than tweaking it, unless you're a tard and put the disc in upside-down.

*A 250ww power supply is not enough to sustain a Nivida 8600GT graphics card, lesson learned*