U-Play, Origin, and Lord Gaben er Steam

Capitalism is about money and choice, the freedom to buy the things from people for stuff or services you like. But...computers are weird...and they change people's perceptions of things for reasons I cannot understand. Unlike in the real world where I can go buy, say Super Mario from Gamestop or Best Buy and the game remains indistinguishable from either place, people who buy something on a PC have a very different understanding of the same item they bought between services like Origin, U-Play or Steam. Somehow, Mass Effect is a magically different game if you buy it on Steam. People of the internet will claim how profoundly better Mass Effect is on Steam versus Origin. Or how much worse Far Cry 3 is on PC because of U-Play.

I personally fail to understand any of these claims myself, nor does anyone ever present me with a decent argument as to why the services of U-Play and Origin inherently make a game worse.

You don't hear this same spat from people reading Game of Thrones on an iPad versus someone reading it on a Surface Pro or Kindle do you? Never once have I heard someone tell me "Man that new Stephen King book was great, too bad I bought it on my Kindle." But you'll hear this all the time from gamers wishing they could play Titanfall on Steam instead of Origin.

I ask, what's the difference? I personally see none. All three services are pretty darn good, they take up few if any system resources, and they are all very well made. Furthermore, the actual game you are playing doesn't change in the slightest just because you booted up one platform that has more orange than one that is mostly black in color. Sure your friend lists are different, the game library is different, and oh dear your achievements are given by someone other than our Lord Gaben...errrr Steam. Big whoop, I still fail to see how any of that decreases the quality of the game.

Was Super Mario a worse game because you had to blow in your Nintendo to make it work? Sure it was irritating, but the games were still great, we put up with it. The games EA and Ubisoft put out are also fantastic, and as long as your PC isn't a buggy mess you won't be doing any blowing to get them to work. So what is really getting everyone's goat on these different platforms that the PC has? I have some theories:

U-Play:  When U-Play came out it also came with a caveat that you must always be online to play the game, it would even boot you out if your connection was interrupted. As DRM restrictions go, this is by far the worst one. Ubisoft quickly removed this restriction after all the flack. They went so far as to add things in their service that no one else has. Achievements actually earn you DLC for the games you play. No one seems to care though, they just still hate U-Play presumably for this reason.

Origin: I feel like Origin only gets a bad rap for a few reasons. One is people love to hate EA, they just do. I'm not sure why exactly. Sure they make some lame choices like the Sim City debacle (another always online idea...see the trend?), the botched Battlefield 4 fiasco (something that should be online that failed to stay online harharhar), and of course people hating EA for making a Madden game every year (yet it still sells like hot cakes). The other reason Origin gets so much hate is that EA refuses to sell their games on Steam now and people like having all their games in one happy little place in their computer. News flash, your games on Steam aren't all in one happy place either on your computer technically. Some games root your saves into My Documents, some in My Games folders, others will actually use the Steam folder by default. Want to mod them? Again, more searching for the right files, more poking around. It isn't the same thing as having a PS4 and shoving all your games in it people, PC gaming requires some work and that will never change.

I think the main complaint with both is people don't like "more DRM." DRM gets an understandably bad rap because it restricts gamers on using the thing they bought. PC gaming in general is restrictive in that you can't lend or borrow games you have like console gamers can. We used to be able to buy one game and install it on all of our friends PC then use the disc as a frisbee and still play the game. Then DRM stepped in to make sure everyone was buying the game. It mainly came about as an answer to Torrents and people outright stealing the games. DRM became so restrictive and so terrible though, that it soon became less intrusive and less of a hassle for gamers to just steal the game. More DRM inevitably led to more people stealing games. People buying games legitimately suffered from DRM whereas gamers who stole the game didn't. It was awful. There was a time where Gears of War was programmed literally to stop working on PC on the new year of 2011 (I think that's the right year) but people who stole the game didn't notice at all. This was fixed, but just one of many, many examples of where DRM was a hindrance.

Cut to today where most every company has gotten the hint that people don't like intrusive DRM schemes anymore. No longer are there games that require you to be online for the sole purpose of DRM despite all the rumor flinging about Sim City 5 their goal was more of an interactive city game, not imposed DRM. And yeah, it was a bad idea lol. Never the less, Origin, U-Play and Steam all have the exact same amount of DRM which requires you to...load their program *gasp*

Such a hurdle has never been faced by PC gamers. Loading a program? What blasphemy is this, what heresy, what...what....wtf? Really is that all it is? Why are people complaining about this?

I think the worst amount of complaining comes in the form of Amazon reviews of games. Any time you see a PC version of a game on Amazon it's likely to have 3 or less stars regardless of game quality. What are people complaining about you ask? God you're dumb...it's the DRM of course! What reasoning do they give for not liking it? Because...it's...because DRM that's why! And that's it...These people are somehow trapped in 7 years ago back when DRM was bad. I swear it's like these guys don't even play the game and just review all of them to knock DRM.

Let's go back to my book example one more time. A better comparison would be if someone bitched online because they bought The Stand on Amazon Kindle and could only read it with the Kindle app on their iPad, but instead wanted to read it on the iBook app or whatever it's called. It's the same device, the same book, just a different animation of page turning...RIOT!

Here's what I grew up with and had to deal with...remember when you had to RENT games from a store? That's a building for those of you who just turned 15 years old. Back then you had to hope they had a copy in stock. You didn't worry about WHAT you played it on, you worried about WHEN you got to play it at all. If it was out of stock all you could do was peer over the counter and see who had it so you could hunt them down and steal the game...ok I never did that...I was never tall enough to peer over the counter.

The point of this rant of course, is quit your damn bitching!

*Apparently loading up Origin, U-Play and Steam all at the same time is akin to spinning around 3 times in a mirror at midnight chanting to summon Bloody Mary*

Mass Effect 2: Effective Improvement

To sum up my thoughts of the first game in this series would be to call it a blithering pile of doggie doo would probably be giving it far too much praise. The game had issues ranging from the AI to an unholy inventory system, with a bad overall plot that wasn't fully realized and characters that I couldn't give two shits about and couldn't even remember half their names.

Thankfully Mass Effect 2 improves in most of these areas but still retains some glaring flaws keeping shy of being a decent RPG. If there's one thing I have learned about playing Bioware games it's that I find I like them only when reflecting on the characters in the game. It seems to me that the more I like the characters in a Bioware game the more I can overlook issues I have with it, and enjoy my time with the game. This is true of Knights of the Old Republic 1, but not 2, Dragon Age 1, but not 2, and in this case Mass Effect 2, but not 1. Bioware games as I have noted all have pretty lame overall plots and setups but relatively great characterization depending on the game.

With that said, let's dig into Mass Effect 2.

Story:

The story of Mass Effect 2 is you are Commander Sheppard...and you just died! But then you are brought back together by Cerberus who apparently was some evil doing organization in the first game that I must have completely ignored because I really didn't recognize them here...But your main character knows them and doesn't trust them one bit! You meet up with the "Illusive Man" who might as well be the cigarette smoking man from X-Files, or the G-Man from Half Life. We never learn one goddamn thing about him, who's side he's on, how he's so well informed, or...well...anything at all and that becomes a MAJOR disappointment for me at the end of the game.

Needless to say the Illusive Man is your tour guide giving you all the vital info you need to get to your next mission. Bioware's formula if you haven't already been privy to it yet is go here, here and here, collecting this, that, and the other thing until we have them all to finish the final level. In both Mass Effect 1 and 2 that "collection" of things are people and spells out your entire mission list for the game. That's right, your main mission in this game is to recruit a crew...

In a good game I'd expect the crew to join as the plot develops, but nope, not in the Mass Effect series! Instead of actually completing important objectives, learning about the enemy, and all the while gaining support for your cause along the way in some natural story arcing pace, Mass Effect's formula is thus: create characters, give them wacky back-stories and call it a day. It becomes so tirelessly formulaic that it becomes really hard to care about the overall goal of the game which you learn is to stop the "Collectors," which is a mysterious alien race who has been capturing Humans.

Just as in the first game you are constantly told about the imminent threat of the Reapers and how dangerous they are and you never actually fight any, in Mass Effect 2 you also hardly ever fight any of the Collectors. Thankfully, at least you do fight them once and a while but the larger threat, the Reapers, make ZERO appearances in this game. All the while you are given hints that the Illusive Man is the real danger, but he never presents himself as evil in the game despite our heroes assertions. Once again I'm playing a game without a real antagonist and it bugs the shit out of me.

So the "story" boils down to go here, recruit this guy, and then solve some problem he's having. Those are the main missions, and takes up 90% of the game. The rest is just the last level where you take out the Collectors. The entire mission of getting a crew then killing off what is essentially the B team of evil all feels like it should have been done with as a mid-point to the game...not the whole damn game! I mean you just don't care enough about the "Collectors," they aren't that threatening, and really never play out as final boss material.

It's just so weird that with TWO games now telling us again and again how badass and evil the Reapers are and to never really have us confront them is entirely too annoying and pathetic. It's like if I played Final Fantasy 7 and never once fought Sephiroth, barely heard about him or saw him, then was told at the end of the game that he was so stupid evil he will wreck your face in Final Fantasy 7-3 coming out in 8 years...oh and never shows up at all in Final Fantasy 7-2. I just can't understand a series where it's central villains are played down SO much and yet remain the topic of imminent threat to our heroes. Oh, but hilariously the galaxy doesn't seem to give a shit about the Reapers because there is no evidence of Sovereign's attack in the first game which was so ridiculous I had to leave my chair and punch a defenseless baby sea cow. I mean honestly! The entire Citadel ran in panic of it, it blew up all sorts of shit, and has it's own goddamn action figure for sale in a local market. YES YOU CAN BUY something called Sovereign in the game, but OH the Council denies Reaper existence. What a load of shit.

All I see these two games as is super filler. Stuff we don't need to see or hear about, it's padding. Bioware wants this series to be a trilogy, so they avoid a climactic battle with the villains they set up until the final game just so they can have three games. This just proves a severe lack of creativity. There's no reason we couldn't fight the Reapers in the first two games, or learn more about them, or give a shit. Plenty of good trilogies allow the main villains to play a central role in the conflict throughout. It seems to me like Bioware avoids it because they are horrible writers and think that if a conflict occurs with the Reapers at ALL then it has to be the last one too. I mean, how can I, an audience member care in any way about the Reapers as a threat when I am told essentially nothing about them? Well I can't...and they had TWO FUCKING GAMES to tell me about them!

Graphics:

This game is jaw dropping beautiful. Great set pieces, textures, ambiance, everything is really well done. Character models are really neat too. I was on the PC version so I do have a few complaints. Firstly, you are given nearly no customization options which is terrible. I couldn't set the anti ailising at all so I had to deal with jaggies until I told nividia to override the game and force AA in. So happy nividia lets me bitch slap games that won't let me customize.

My other issue is character reactions. This is more of a programming compromise Bioware made than graphics but hear me out. Every conversation you have with anyone in the game plays out generally exactly the same way. You both stand and get over the shoulder shots, then the other character with step back a bit, then in the next dialogue sequence he'll pace back and forth. Granted this doesn't happen with sitting characters or ones in a small room but anywhere else in the game you will see this crap over and over again. It bothers me that different races and species will pace exactly the same as all the others! They would have been better served to have species act differently during conversation than other species. Reminds me of Star Ocean 3 where Cliff would ALWAYS pound his fist into his hand regardless of what he was talking about. He could be like "Let's go!" *fist pound* or "My name is Cliff" *fist pound* or "I like cheese" *fist pound* It just comes off as unnatural and irritating.

Gameplay:

Ok, here is where I saw a ton of improvement. Enough to make me actually enjoy the game. First and foremost the inventory system is gone, literally. They scrapped the idea of having items at all in this game which is fine because clearly they couldn't get it right in the first one. No more having to sift through unsorted guns, ammo, and upgrades for hours on end ensuring you have the best shit equipped, now you have universal upgrades, ammo is used as a sort of bio power or selectable on the fly, and there is nothing really to keep track of. Sure, some may be annoyed that your customization options are a bit limited now and that may be true but honestly you only lose a SMALL amount of customization for a vastly improved and streamlined inventory, ie none at all. I found it very refreshing to play an RPG where I didn't have to eyestrain at every little tiny stupid fucking item. It made me very happy.

Gunplay is improved and at the same time confusing plot-wise. The game has a better cover system in general, the AI is greatly improved on both sides, and being able to select the type of bullets you want on the fly is a godsend. Everything here I feel was an improvement. I would only like to see a bit more command options for your allies. Selecting the AI to use a bio power for instance I lament that I also cannot select the target they use it on. Often they will hit nothing at all, or not the enemy I want them to hit. It's a small complaint, but an odd omission from the team that gave us KoToR which let us choose what enemies we wanted to hit with all AI allies.

What I do NOT understand about the guns in this game is why they have bullets. This is set in the future of ME1 where there was no ammo and guns shot forever with a cool down. Here...you run out of ammo? How is that an improvement? Like...what gunsmith two years after ME1 decided infinite ammo was worse than finite ammo? It makes NO sense!!!

I do not miss the lack of a rover to traverse planets either. What a pain in the ASS that was. It was fun at first, but after doing just that for 20 hours I was ready to kill myself. Mass Effect 2 instead just lets you scan planets for minerals, which is also really boring but far quicker. Personally, I would just say screw all of that and allow the player to buy the needed materials, or do something fun like manage a workforce dedicated to mining those minerals and you could decide if you want slaves or an actual paid team. It would be simplistic and not overbearing in any way. Also, it would be totally non-intrusive as you would get minerals automatically on a periodic basis. And those periods can be controlled by the player if you put more of your resources into your staff you get more minerals sooner, and so on. So instead of gambling your time with needless mini games you actually invest your money into it giving it a much more strategic and satisfactory feel.

But I digress...

The game itself becomes very formulaic even by Bioware standards. You get essentially 2 missions per character and you don't have to do both. One mission you save the character, or recruit them, the other mission you complete some objective or tie a loose end they want tied. Every mission is exactly the same though. You go to a place with long hallways and kill shit until you get to the end. Sure some have mild creativity peppered in like solving a murder, or luring out an assassin, but none of that is ever fully realized. But that's it, that's all your missions.

Characters:

I really enjoyed the characters of Mass Effect 2 over 1 by a longshot. They were much more interesting this time around. And yeah there were a few duds, but mostly I cared more for them here than anyone in the first game. My favorite character was probably Mordin followed by Jack. Mordin was more interesting than all of ME1's characters combined. I just really loved how he was behind the genophage, and the justification of doing it. The political comparisons can be made today easily. How our country (USA) decided to go into Iraq to prevent war, the idea of attack them now before they attack you later mentality despite Iraq never being an imminent threat of any kind. Much like the Krogan not posing a threat to the galaxy but they decided to play god and lower Krogan fertility to control their population thus removing their perceived "threat." While Mordin's choice was more scientific than ours it still raises the same questions and brings up wonderful points and things to ponder.

There were plenty of other characters in this game with similar interesting plots, but I don't need to go into them. It's just nice that more care and attention went into thinking about these characters than the ones from the last game who felt way more stereotypical and boring than anything else.

Music:

This was another large improvement. Mass Effect 2 had some pretty dramatic moments where a good score was needed and the music came through here. ME1's music was often lacking, or just not there as the majority of that game was very slow and plodding with nothing going on. ME2 has moments of danger with large set pieces crumbling and many things going on which helped allow for more music.

Conclusion:

Mass Effect 2 had many much needed improvements over the first game but it was still heavily lacking in story and pacing. This is something I still feel western developers are struggling with in gaming. I mean how can you justify having TWO games where your entire goal is to assemble a team and then have the final conflict be against something that isn't perceived as the main enemy? I just don't get it. If Mass Effect 3 is entirely about collecting various characters to do your bidding as the Normandy slave driver Commander Sheppard then I'm going to be pissed! He is a well established mother fucker and there is NO reason he has to do his own casting calls every fucking game. I just don't find that to be compelling use of gameplay, I really don't.

In a good RPG you have your cast of characters early on and you are always in pursuit of your overall goal with your allies in a similar mindset. With Mass Effect the main goal is totally ditched in favor of gathering allies and solving their completely unrelated issues. Hell, basically NONE of the cast on the Normandy could give two shits about the Collectors or stopping them. Grunt just wants a good fight, Mordin wants to study them, Jack owes Sheppard a favor, Tali owes Sheppard a favor, Samara...owes Sheppard a favor, and Thane gets contracted. The two Cerberus members and Legion are the only characters with an honest to god reason to go after the Collectors and the Reapers. It makes me believe more and more that all Bioware does is sit in a room and come up with characters to put in their games and main story be damned.

I will say this though, the ability to kill off or save your squad is greatly improved in this game. The choices you get endgame are FAR greater than anything ME1 gave you and your choices there really do feel like a "Mass Effect" will occur from what you did. I applaud that.

*ME2 is like stepping in dog shit only to discover it was just a clump of mud, so it's not that bad after all*

The Witcher Review

The Witcher 2 is nearing its release so I figure I should get my thoughts out about the first game that I just started playing again a few weeks ago. I obtained it on a steam deal for $6.00 and I must say...I feel quite ripped off.

The Witcher is everything that is wrong with Western RPG development, and doesn't do what Western RPG's do right either. It is possibly the worst game I have ever played in my life and I don't say that lightly. There are only a handful of games that I haven't completed on the account of I hated it. The Witcher not only joins that elusive club, but is probably its new king.

From the setting, to the battle system, to item management, characters, enemy behavior, spells, crafting, and especially the quests themselves, the Witcher manages to get every single one of these wrong.

Graphics:

Going into an RPG I care about this the least of all. But the Witcher doesn't disappoint in being flawed so hard that even I can't ignore the issues it has in the graphics department. Firstly, for a next gen title of its time, it looks really bad. Look no further than the main character himself. No detail to be found, and the hair....oh the hair just stands out like a sore thumb. Not since Vaan's abs in Final Fantasy 12 have I ever not been able to ignore a character feature before for just how bad it looks. It sticks out long, no texture, just white draped over his head like someone forgot to finish it...ugh!

And the NPC's are worse in that there are MAYBE 6 different models? You see the same character model everywhere unless they're a main character with lines. You have one dwarf type, one fat merchant, an old guy, hookers, and some sparse peasants and kids. I was always one to joke and comment about Oblivion re-using character models like crazy, but the Witcher goes overboard here.

Sound:

For me it's important for an RPG to have not only good voice acting, but a great soundtrack. The Witcher has neither. The voice acting is muted and uncaring. The main character Geralt is expressionless, never getting angry or sad, and simply never caring at all. Why is he even ON this quest? He doesn't give a shit ever and neither does the voice actor.

The music is less poor, but still terrible. The main theme plays way too much, and I think mainly because they didn't have enough money to pay for a variety of tunes. The other songs drain on you since the game makes you spend too much time in one area too long.

Story:

I actually began playing this game the moment I got it from the Steam sale which was about a year ago now. The story is a bit hazy for me so I took a look at the wiki to refresh my mind. Sure enough the wiki highlights just what is wrong with the plot perfectly enough. Geralt is a Witcher, loses his memory after awakening from death...(Jesus?) and generally heals people that can't be healed by normal means...(really...Jesus?). He's held up with a band of other Witchers who allow themselves to be robbed by a Mage and a pack of thugs.

How the sequence plays out if I remember correctly is just god awful. They had every chance to stop them from stealing their shit, but they don't and instead talk with them...at length...while they're stealing shit...and they go through a portal and oooohhh no....couldn't stop them....*snaps fingers* Shouldn't have been talking with them all that time...

So the quest for the game is to...get your shit back and probably Geralt's memory in the process, but really who cares (read character section).

As I said I didn't finish this game, but I can't really comment any further on the story either. Even though I plugged maybe 20 hours into this shit-fest the game NEVER brought up any key story points from then on! Oh, except for Geralt fucking anything with two legs, which hilariously if you read the Wiki plot synopsis it DOES actually mention every time Geralt is to be fucked in the plot...why? Probably because that's the only interesting thing going on while he's fetch questing....oh yes....there's fetch questing more than I have ever, EVER seen.

Gameplay:

Fetch Questing:

So the gameplay...err...I mean Fetch Questing of this game is trash. You sword fight by clicking on your enemy, then timing further clicks highlighted by the sword icon to increase your combo. That's it! Oh, yeah there is magic too...that's the right click. Magic varies from stunning enemies...to stunning a group of enemies...to setting them on fire...or casting a protect spell.

But the combat is so incredibly basic it doesn't allow for any strategy to develop at all. If you're weaker you lose, stronger you win, the end. You can't guard anything you want, dodge anything you want. All you can do is stand there and either get beat up, or beat things up. The game gives three stances, strong, fast, and group. You pick strong stance to fight...strong things....fast to attack...fast things....and group to attack....many things...What imagination employed here!

Leveling up involves going to a fireplace to meditate and place skill points where you want. Traditional things here, nothing special, moving on.

So outside of battling what actually takes up ALL your time in this game? Why fetch-questing of course. Fetch questing of the HIGHEST order, the worst kind of all. These are the kinds of fetch quests that BREED more fetch questing. What's worse is they are ALL boring, ALL tedious, and ALL encompassing of what you do in this game.

I will take an actual in game scenario and describe it to you. Let me know if you think this is fun:

In one quest you have to find this one chick in a hospital during the day to get her to do an autopsy, she tells you to meet with her in her house at night. Please note how HORRENDOUSLY tedious it is to change to night as you have to find a fireplace and there's only one and it's on the other side of town. Then travel back to her house which is guarded by an old lady who has random things to say and over half of them AUTOMATICALLY sends you back out of her house for NO reason. Once you MANAGE to get in and talk to the chick upstairs she agrees to do the autopsy...but you're not done. You have to learn about how to do an autopsy first and find the gravedigger....but the gravedigger doesn't show up at night! So you have to change it back to daytime....(note I gave up researching autopsies as I couldn't figure out how) then you find the gravedigger and ask for the corpse you need....except he wants Dwarven Booze first....which you get from the tavern. Travel to the tavern and buy some Dwarven Booze (though none of the liquor is labeled "Dwarven Booze" you have to make a shitty guess or buy all the booze). Then return it to the gravedigger who gives you the corpse. You then meet the chick who now wants you to go to the hospital at night (GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!!) ....find fireplace, make it night now...and THEN do the autopsy.

Was that fun? Did you enjoy that? I hope you did because the above describes EVERYTHING you do in this game from start to finish. Below is a rough chart describing quests in this game:

"I need a rare flower" "Well sir you've come to the right place....except I need "X" thing first. Go see "X" guy to give me "X" thing." You meet "X" guy. "Hello, sure I'll give you "X" thing as long as you give me "Y" thing. To get "Y" thing go kill 10 "X" enemies." Kill 10 "X" enemies. Give to "Y" guy who gives you "X" thing. Give "X" thing to "X" guy who gives you a rare flower.

(note the above scenario does not include switching from night to day, or dying from encountering enemies you're not supposed to fight yet...)

Oh right! Did I mention that at any point in the game you will come accross enemies you're not supposed to fight yet? I didn't? Well in this game you will often come across enemies you can't defeat, die trying, and have to start from wherever you saved last to continue the fetch quest. My personal experience with this occurrence was as follows:

"Oh look, a giant red plant. I have defeated the giant green plants this should be no troub-LEWTFBULLSHITISTHIS??" .....*dead*....

So there you have it, The Witcher. Enough fetch questing to choke a horse (which you don't get in the game) and WTFBULLSHITISTHIS moments where you die immediately.

The worst part about this fetch questing is how you are often not told what to do. For instance in the example I mentioned, you are NOT told the gravedigger can only be found in the morning, or how to start the quest the chick cannot be found during the night in the hospital. You are not told where to get Dwarven Booze, and you are NEVER told where the research materials for autopsies are. Many quests like this you have to make shitty guesses.

What's worse is ONLY the main quests have a tracking marker on the map and even the tracking marker is bullshit. It will point you to a place, but often not update appropriately causing you to flounder around the red dot until you come to your senses like me and shut the damn game off.

Inventory:

So...much....shit. There's SO much shit in this game. 95% of the shit you get is ingredients to make MORE shit. Pretty much just potions to heal or buff stats, nothing special. What is retarded is you have to go to a damn fireplace every time you want to make something. WHY? And your inventory fills up VERY quick, so why can't I just make shit on the fly to get more space?

But really, everything gives you something. Plants that grow, enemies defeated, bushes, mushrooms, hundreds of types and sizes. Ridiculousness. And you always have to either find a fireplace to clear up inventory, or an innkeep to store your shit, or a merchant to sell your shit. Oh, the WORST thing is you have to find the RIGHT fatass merchant to sell specific things. Like a flower merchant won't buy Gold Rings you find, or the Tavern will ONLY buy your food and booze. That is ANNOYING. If I want to turn a profit on my collectibles I shouldn't have to seek out every single merchant in town to do so.

Oh, and the worst part about your inventory is you can only carry 3 weapons. You can never sell weapons without actually removing them from some of your slots either. So turning a profit off weapons is nigh impossible because you don't have inventory space to carry shitty ones for selling. You literally end up dropping weapons and picking up better ones on the go without being able to reap money off an old one.

Characters:

If you haven't stopped playing yet, and actually want to see who you're fighting for well then meet Geralt, your hero the Witcher.

Geralt is the only character you get to relate with outside of a slew of side characters that come and go as the game goes on. Geralt has no memory, rose from the dead, but unlike Jesus he's an asshole. Not just an asshole, but one that fucks every female he can. Any time you have a conversation with an NPC chick you will see and option to fuck her, and sometimes it is done on accident. Once, I banged a chick not knowing that would be the outcome of the option "how are you today?"*cue porno music* So this is the hero, this is the guy, an apathetic monotone amnesiac nymphomaniac who can't block attacks...Really, that's it. That is Geralt, that is your hero...

Conclusion:

I couldn't continue this game for any reason. The fetch questing, the constant fuck scenes, the incompetent battle system, gathering of ingredients to make potions that I NEVER gave a fuck about, the abominable and unforgiving night/day system, the inventory...nothing was fun about this game. Not one thing kept me those 20 hours save the idea that something interesting MIGHT happen, but it never did. I don't care if the game somehow got better in the story department later on, dealing with those fetch quests wasn't worth it, and will never be worth it. The story would have to change the very foundation of my moral fiber to swath through the unending number of NPC characters I have to barter with each and every quest.

You know how in most Zelda games there is a fetch quest? A quest where you trade random shit to different NPC's like 12 times until you end up with either the greatest sword or armor in the game? Those are fun for two reasons. First, you get something amazing at the end, and second...you do it ONE FUCKING TIME. Not through the whole game, but ONCE! The END! Here's the BEST SWORD IN THE FUCKING GAME for putting up with our stupid fetch quest bullshit. But in the Witcher? Here's 150 Orens (money) for that hour of running around we made you do...uh...thanks?

*100xp for fucking a whore*
(I only wish I could obtain xp that way)