Top 15 Games of All Time - IMHO Edition

It took me some time just to think of 15 games that I thought were the best of "All Time". After looking at Portex's and K to the Y to the L to the E's lists, I agree with their choices, the games they chose are great, though I feel a little differently about my top fifteen.

In no particular order I will start off with...

The Halo Series - XBOX / XBOX 360
Unlike Kyle, I think some of the series can be grouped together, and the Halo series deserves to be grouped together. Originally supposed to be a game for the Mac, Halo's developer, Bungie, was purchased by Microsoft to bring the FPS to the new game system, the XBOX. WIth that Bungie released a game that had a good story line, great multiplayer, both co-op and versus, had intuitive controls (providing you were not using the controller so lovingly named "The Boat"), and was a great example of graphical power of the XBOX. Halo 2 they added Live support while still tweaking with the mechanics of the game play, and with Halo 3 they added more modes, such as the Forge map editor, Theater Mode and 4 player Co-op in both system link and over XBOX LIVE. Besides, love or hate the game, Red vs. Blue is a byproduct of the Halo series, and that's not bad.


Super Mario Brothers 3 - NES
Holy cow do I love this game. the fact that I can sit down with a game that is 20 years old and still remember 90 percent of the secrets speaks to the amout of thought and level design was put into this game.

Rockband Series - Multiconsole
Not trying to sound like a fanboy here, but the Rockband series has a different vibe than that Guitar Hero series, even though the developer of Rockband is the same as who started off the Guitar Hero series, Rockband has 60 straight weeks of DLC that works on both RB and RB2. putting at last check over 350 songs for download, add that to the 55 out of the 58 that you can export from RB to RB2 and the 84 songs that come with RB2, and add the AC/DC pack that you can export to RB2, that is over 500 songs to play. Compare that to the 75 DLC songs and 86 that came on the disc, I would rather have the game with the larger lineup.

Super Mario Brothers / Duck Hunt - NES
If I have to explain this, you should not be here!

The Pokemon Series - GB / GBA / DS
The mega cash cow that Nintendo has hidden away on the 13 floor of their headquarters says "Moo-lah". Sorry for the hideous pun, but the fact is this series has made a ton of money for Nintendo. The funny thing about it is that they are just selling the same game each time with either an upgrade in pokemon, or better graphics, but the overall point is to try and catch them all. This game is like crack. Since my first taste of Pokemon Yellow on the Gameboy Colour, I have picked up at least one version of the many releases. On another note, I also picked up the trading card game on GBC, note how that game is not on the list...

Starcraft - PC
Yes, the game the Koreans love to die for... literally! This is a classic RTS that many people still play it. I still play it, and will keep playing it until Starcraft 2 comes out. Which according to the latest news I have heard, the release date is set for the day satan skates to work.

Sonic The Hedgehog 2 - Genesis
Man I love this game. Like Super Mario Brothers 3, this is another game that I can remember the secrets for. Such as going to the sound test to activate either the level select or Super Sonic. My favorite (and still love that they kept it in the Virtual Console release) is that you could hook up a second controller and have Tails be your.... well... for lack of a better word... bitch. If he died, he would always come back. So Sonic, avoid the dangers, send the suicidal Tails in first and everything is going to be all right.

Final Fantasy - NES
Yes the original, and not the series. Being Square's last chance to make a successful game before possibly going out of business, and oh what a game it was. Yes the rest of the series has it's charms. I'm looking at you VII, but the first one always rings true for me.

Starfox 64 - Nintendo 64
First game I owned on a N64. I remember that it also came with a rumble pack for the controller. Just writing about this game makes me want to turn on my Wii (well to be fair, hook it back up) and play it on the Virtual Console. From the movable "64" on the title screen to the multiple different paths that you can take to reach the end of the game. A solid game through and through.

Portals - PC / XBOX 360 / PS3
From day one, I knew that this was going to be awesome. While Kyle appears not to know what he is talking about because the second installment was released MONTHS ago. Kyle, look up Portals: Still Alive for the XBOX Live Arcade. The game is so simple, but addicting like crap. Because of this game, I highly doubt that I am the only one with a plan of action the day I am able to have a Portal Gun in real life.

Super Mario 64 - Nintendo 64
Super Mario Galaxy did not make the list because I did not want to put 16 games on here. It is a great game, and I mean it no ill will when I say that I think Super Mario 64 was a better game, because in my mind, it offered more of a challenge that Galaxy. Plus the fact they re-relased the game for both the DS and the Wii Virtual Console added with the fact that the re-releases are selling pretty decently shows that I am not the only one that enjoys this game.

Shadowgate - Mac / NES
This game creeped me out to no end when I was younger. This game came out when I was roughly 4 years old. In fact it was 20 years ago this year that it was released for the NES. When you died, and please keep in mind that I am around 4-5 years old at the time, when ever you died, it would scare the hell out of me with the picture of death that comes up. Granted I am better now. I did grow up after all, but it was a good game after I got over the fear of death in the game. Look it up, you shall enjoy it!

Galaga - NES
Mention the name of this game, and the theme music plays in my head. It was a simple but great nonetheless shooter. Grab it on the Virtual Console, it's only 5 bucks.

Pilotwings 64
Sequel to the SNES game Pilot Wings, this flight sim for the 64 had great missions, but this games appeal did not come from the missions, but rather the game play. One of my favorite modes is the Birdman mode. No point to this mode, just to explore and relax. There was a sequel planned for the Gamecube, sadly this got the axe when Factor 5 split with Nintendo. I still hold hope for a sequel, until then I will have to wait for the Virtual Console release. Hey Shiggy, after Pikmin, make a new Pilotwings!

Steel Battalion - XBOX
This deserves a mention. How incredibly awesome is a game that you need a 40 button controller just to play the game. Sure the game and the controller cost 200 bucks, but talk about realism. The controller is so epic that you have a separate button for windshield wipers, and an eject button. I think that if they were to release a next-gen version with a USB, it would be epic.

Top 15 Games of All Time - K to the Y to the L to the E

I saw that the Portex had posted his 15 favorite games, and i simply couldn't resist following suit. There are plenty of obscure games that I could post that I really loved, but honestly none of them give me the unadulterated feelings of pure joy that these 15 do. You'll notice some overlap with Porter's, but not nearly as many as you think. Without further ado:

Goldeneye 007: I'm a Bond geek in epic ways, and this game was the first real FPS I played at length. I judge almost every shooter I ever play against it. I don't feel I need to say more.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time : I decided at the beginning if the article that i would only post specific games, not entire series, and I feel like Ocarina of time simply embodies what Zelda is, can be, and will become. A sprawling adventure the likes of which had never been seen at the time, and the reason I yell HAI when cutting bread.

Super Mario Galaxy : It completely redefined what 3D platformer can be, and boy oh boy did it do it well. There's just so much to do, and so many places to visit. I've spent hours on this game, and not noticed.

Banjo-Kazooie : A strange game about a bear and a bird fighting a witch may seem out of place, but it took the go-and-find-stuff type of game and it absolutely perfected it. This was back when Rare was king.

Resident Evil 4 : Wii Edition : Porter already talked about this one a bit, and i feel pretty much the way he did. It was great on the Gamecube, it was ok on the PS2, but it truly SHINED on the Wii. Nuff said.

Bioshock: Bioshock was fun, atmospheric, creepy, and it actually had a good story. the gameplay is fun and angagiing, and it was one of the only shooters of recent generations to not limit your amount of weapons to one or two at a time, and to allow medpack healing instead of magically healing when you hide. It was a bit of a throwback in that way, but far advanced in others.

Dead Space: What can i say about Dead Space? It was freaky, fun, challenging, and it had a good story going for it! It was even genuinely frightening, something that not much is for me. I always walked away from the game with the feeling that I really didn't want to be alone right now. Good stuff.

Silent Hill 2 : This was the first survival horror game that gave me nightmares. It was just plain freaky, with those shambling things, and the ever popular Pyramid Head. The puzzles were fun and interesting, and the story left me feeling.... icky.

Portal : This was a fun little experiment. Straightforward gameplay, straightforward goal. Get from one end of the room to the other. With a portal gun. I'm eager to see where they take Portal 2.

Metal Gear Solid 3 : Ok, we all knew this was coming. With one amazing exception, this is my favorite game of all time, and this is the best game in the series. It combines the best of the gameplay from the previous games with new elements, such as the jungle survival tactics, and the fun of a cold war setting. It feels like a classic spy story, and I truly loved every last minute.

Kingdom Hearts II : If ever a game concept has sounded stupider than Kingdom Hearts, it's probably from Shigeru Miyamoto. However, just like the Shiggy, this game was a startling success. The careful blend of Disney with Square seemed to truly create an original and epic plot. It dominated my imagination for a long time after I finished it.

Max Payne II : The slow motion gunplay of the first game got a face lift, and now looked beautiful and smooth. I loved this sequel.

Oblivion : Elder Scrolls IV : This one almost didn't make the list, but then I thought about it. I think I have spent more time on this game than I have on any other, EVER. Even Pokemon took less time out of my life. In total, with multiple save files. I believe I have had well over 300 hours of gameplay in this first person RPG. Holy crap.

Final Fantasy IX : The inevitable Final Fantasy on my list has a special place in my heart because it combined the old gameplay of the originals with sleek and interesting visuals made possible by the PS1's at the time stellar graphics. A true classic.

Shadow of the Colossus : This game is truly my favorite game of all time. I have beaten it a dozen times, and I still play it regularly. There are only 16 enemies in the game, but they are all massive. Huge to the point where you have to climb them to kill them. It was truly an epic experience, and a masterpiece of what games could be.

That's my list. I can only hope that our third member, keith, follows along and announces his 15 most likely far less awesome games list.

Top 15 Games of All Time - Portex

Not in any particular order I have listed above what I feel are the 15 best games I have ever played. The picture and list comes from a voting system developed by gamefaqs.com and that is my entry. Below I will give my reasons for why I chose these games.

Xenogears: Xenogears is my favorite game ever, period. It was a game that read like a novel, and played even better. The battle system was tight and fluid allowing the user to create their own combos of martial arts, or get in a giant gear and change up the formula slightly. It was addicting, the story was engrossing, and the characters were fascinating. Pick this one up if you haven't already, I implore you!

Super Mario Galaxy: There's not much to say about this one that gamers shouldn't already be aware of. This game is quite simply the greatest 3D plat former ever. It was easy enough for newbies and challenging as all hell for anyone trying the daunting task of mastering the game. I loved every minute of its gravity defying and outright torturous level design. It is Myamoto's last masterpiece as of now and if you haven't played this, you do not know what you're missing.

Baten Kaitos: If I wanted I would have added both Baten Kaitos games, the only reason I picked the first one was because the battle system was far more intense and fun. For those unaware (and that's probably all of you) Baten Kaitos had one of the most unique and fast paced battle systems I have ever seen. You are given a handful of seconds to combine and string together a series of cards that you have entered in as a deck for each unique character. That string is determined by basic card game rules of like pairs, a straight, flush, and so on. The fun was that this was the case for both offense and defense. Never before has every battle in an RPG been just as fun as the one before it since trying to maximize your attack string was absolutely addicting. Oh, yeah and the story/music was fabulous as well.

Xenosaga III: All 3 were great in story / music, but Xenosaga III is most notable for its conclusion and playable battle system. If you didn't tackle the previous 2 or Xenogears don't bother with this game though.

Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time: While I personally think Twilight Princess is the better game, in the list of voting I had to represent its father. If I have to explain this pick then you are not a gamer.

Final Fantasy 7: Stay away from the internet when you hear opinions about this game. For some reason a whole bunch of people smog hate over it for no good reason. This is the best Final Fantasy Square ever made, period. Every character had a unique and interesting back story, the villain was mesmerizing, the music was flawless, and the story was paced and presented so perfectly that you forget you're playing an RPG sometimes.

Street Fighter 2: My opinions are well known about this entry, see my previous blog for more info.

Super Mario 3: Super duh explains this pick.

Devil May Cry 3: The DMC series transformed the 'hack n' slash' formula to whole new heights. DMC3 did it the best with the most unique number of bosses, attacks, and all out fun fun fun! Oh, and it was bitching hard! But that's ok, I loved it for that reason. Do not play this if you have heart problems.

Mega Man Zero 3: I love everything about Mega Man. I have beat and played every Mega Man game that isn't some super weird spin-off, and trust me this is the best you can get out of Mega Man. Zero 3 does everything right from bosses, to minor enemies, to no hassle and fun side quests. I have literally beat this game 10 times, and you should beat it too!

Mirror's Edge: Again I have wrote about this one already, it is fantastic.

Golden Sun: The first RPG to hit a Nintendo console in years at the time really showcased just what was right about traditional RPG's. Granted the second game in the series was bigger, longer, and better I chose the first one only because the second one has this ridiculous 5 hour dungeon in the middle of the game that makes me never want to play it again!

Resident Evil 4 (Wii): The Wii version is the best, period. The aiming is so precise you can snipe with a pistol. RE4 needs no further touting of its greatness though.

Goldeneye 007: Once again, if I have to explain this choice then you have no business on a gaming site.

Star Wars Rouge Squadren II: This is the most fluid and precise aerial combat game ever conceived. This was when Factor 5 could make a game and make it well. Without a doubt this is the best Star Wars game ever made as well. Those who argue for Knights of the Old Republic do not understand that Star Wars is and always will be an action movie, and KotOR was about as boring as a game can get. Live the spirit of Star Wars through a game that can get your heart racing, that's all I'm saying.

*If you haven't played at least one of the above, I will personally come to your house with lighter fluid, a box of matches, 20 gallons of sulfuric acid, a double-barreled shotgun, 10 playboy magazines, and a select few of the above games and force you to play them*

Max Pain in my ASS

Max Payne hit DVD yesterday and it just pisses me off. Here we have a game that's perfectly suited to be adapted into a movie. It has a clear story and gameplay that's almost literally based on slow motion sequences from action movies. So, you need three things to make a good Max Payne movie. You need an actor who looks the part, you need slow motion gunfights, and you need them to be poetically self narrated. Seriously, why is that so freaking hard?

Really quickly, for those of you who don't know, the story is as such: A cop's family is murdered and as he degenerates in a downward spiral of depression and obsession, he uncovers the massive drug conspiracy that caused their deaths, killing everyone in his path. So, you know, basically any action film made in the 80s.

Ok, first we heard about the cast. Decent casting, I'll say that for sure. Mark Wahlberg definitely looks the part of Max, and he's a decent enough actor. Ok, no worries there. Then theres a quick appearence by Olga Kurylenko, the most recent Bond girl. Not the best actress in the world, but certainly not awful. Then there's... ew. Mila Kunis. I'll just ignore her. Wait... she's playing Mona Sax? MEG FROM FAMILY GUY!? PLAYING A BEAUTIFUL FEMME FATALE!? I... I was willing to overlook this one at first, but upon re-seeing the film... ick. Add that to the fact that Jack Lupino, the supposed ultimate warrior killing machine is played by the mexican guy from Prison Break, and we sort of have a problem here.

Well at least we get plenty of gruesome action scenes, with blood splattering and bullets flying and... oh... wait... its PG-13? Really? Well, ok. That's not the worst news ever. It can still work, as long as all the action scenes are just as stylish and beautiful as the trai... ler... Oh no. The ONLY slow motion and stylized sequences in the film are in the trailer, folks. The ONLY ONES. In a film, based on a game, literally set ENTIRELY around slow motion action scenes... I counted two of them. Two. One consisted literally entirely of Max firing one shotgun, once. Dear god. Why is this such a difficult formula? Every action movie in the past ten years has had entirely too much slow motion. Now, the ONE TIME when it's all I'm asking for, NOW hollywood decides to hold back. That's just peachy.

Well, at least we have that atmospheric, poetic naration to look forward to! The trailer teases us with the haunting lines, "There's an army of bodies under this river, people who ran out of time, out of friends. I could feel the dead down there, reaching up to welcome me as one of their own. It was an easy mistake to make." Gorgeous! Moody, atmospheric, a little over the top, and above all, just like the game! If the movie has narration even half this good... uh oh... why are you looking at me like that? Oh, that's right. The movie has next to NO narration. It opens with similar line sto the trailer, and then there's nothing. Nothing at all until the close of the film. The entire storytelling style of the Max Payne game hinges on old fashioned over the top narration, one of the EASIEST things to write, and they just, what DECIDED not to do it? What the HELL!? Did the film makers even PLAY the game?

I have NEVER been more disappointed in my life. I had high expectations, and they got completely and utterly DASHED. It makes me want to go on a slow motion killing spree. I genuinely don't understand what makes it so damned difficult to make a movie based on a game. Cut only what you have to, try to remain true to the spirit of the film, and above all, try to retain the STYLE. Doom was hardly the best movie I've ever seen, but it sure as hell FELT like the game. Silent hill was atmospheric and creepy, using the unnerving music and sound effects I know so well from the series. But it seems for every single DECENT adaptation I've ever seen, there are a million Uwe Boll films out there destroying things I love.

It pains me to say this, because I'm the kind of guy who loves adaptation, to see a game or comic or book become a movie, but if you can't start getting it right, for the love of god STOP DOING IT. This is Kyle Fulton, reminding you to use your bullet time sparingly. You run out fast.

Just why did I buy all these games anyways?

So here it is, 11 pm, Saturday night, January, and above all, 2009. Over the past year, I have bought two game systems, and well over 50 games for every system i own, from the N64 ranging to the PS3. And I'm FLIPPING BORED. Does anyone else find this happening to them? I've played every single one of those games, and goodness knows for every game I've ever beaten, there are a dozen I never finished. I own hundreds of them, with over thirty on the PS2 alone. At least twenty DS games, a dozen game boy games, thirty N64 games, countless PS1 games, Sega, Game gear, Dreamcast, Xbox. Hell, I even have a game on my frickin' iPod! MY IPOD.

My point is that I have all of these games, and for some reason, every now and then, nothing holds my attention. Tonight alone I've played Banjo Kazooie, A Link to the Past, A Shadow of Destiny, Shadowgate 64, Shadows of the Empire, Metal Gear Solid 4, and RE: 4. NONE of them have held my attention at all. I love every one of them, and I want to play them all, but for some reason... meh. I have this odd feeling of really desperately wanting to play a game, but I simply can't figure out which one it is.

Even more interestingly, why on earth am I not playing the Final Fantasy games I haven't beat? Or finishing Farcry 2 or Fallout 3? All of them are amazing games, all of them deserve to be beaten... but for some reason I currently find them supremely unappealing. So instead I find myself doing the gamer version of walking the earth, drifting from game to game, searching for some undefinable something. Something in a game that would just... hold my attention. Hell, even a second playthrough of Silent Hill: Homecoming is warranted, but not done.

I can't be the only gamer who has this malady. I've never been able to solve it. The only solution seems to be to immediately buy or rent something comepletely new, and hope that my mind stays with it long enough to beat it. What is it that causes this gaming wanderlust? Why do i continue to buy new games when I haven't even beaten the ones I have? Why don't games that used to keep me rapt hold me for even ten minutes anymore? I have no bloody idea, but if I ever find a solution, I'll let you know. Until next time, folks, may your wiimote never run out of batteries.

Street Fighter!

For those who hear the podcast you will know that I am obsessed with Street Fighter at the moment. I have been playing it at any opportunity (and blogging while I'm at work). I don't know exactly where to go with this article, I thought about providing the history of Street Fighter, but other sites do that. Should I inform the masses of the greatness of the characters? Plot? ...lol plot. So that's where my pondering leads me to a conclusion, I will discuss why Street Fighter is the greatest fighting game franchise of all time.

So it all started with the rivalry. That being between Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter II, (Street Fighter 1 doesn't exist!!!) Ahem, anyway Mortal Kombat was marketed to the consumer as the 'adult' fighting game because it oozed blood and guts at every turn. What it lacked was good fighting game mechanics. Everything in Mortal Kombat felt stiff, and un-evolved. There was no combo system in place at the time. Characters were limited and far too similar. Pulling off special moves were often difficult and fatalities were nearly impossible even if you knew the button combination. The draw? Graphics and blood. Street Fighter II had game play in spades where Mortal Kombat fumbled around for better pacing and character balance. The ultimate atrocity of the Mortal Kombat series was how utterly stiff it was. Every character in the roster had the same punch and kick with no combo options until later in the series. The kicks were straight and slow and the punches were limited and often useless. In Mortal Kombat the rule of thumb was to throw the opponent or uppercut them, everything else was just setting up those damage inducing moves.

What made Street Fighter head over heels better was EVERY character had a different and unique way of striking. Not only were their special moves different, but strategic strikes were different from character to character. Mortal Kombat failed at being a good fighting game in my opinion because of this fact.

So the war raged on between the two and as history shows Street Fighter came out on top in terms of sales and longevity. But wait, we're not done yet, there's plenty more games to compare Street Fighter to.

Killer Instinct is a fantastic fighting game, but how is it worse than the Street Fighter series? Mainly because there are only 2 Killer Instinct games ever, and their combo complexities tamper with its success. I can understand why KI didn't garner the attention it did, you had to be a master of the character you played in order to compete. I remember a time where I challenged a friend of mine to KI who only had some experience with it. Generally in a fighting game a newb can pick up a character and run with him in a half hour or so. With KI that is NOT the case at all. For me, I knew every character's 10 + hit combo sequences, and varieties of those. This advantage was so severe that I never lost 1 round. Even at Street Fighter II I can lose to an utter newb if they play things tricky enough. Some would argue the tell of a good fighting game is when spamming is not a cause for newb wins but it's debatable. Really though, if Killer Instinct was still around I would almost have to argue it is better than Street Fighter. But since it isn't, Street Fighter wins again.

Let's move on to Tekken shall we? Tekken is my favorite 3D fighter and probably isn't fair to compare to Street Fighter. But I will say one word that makes Tekken worse than Street Fighter. That is "Juggling." Done right a competent player of Tekken can win a match by keeping his opponent in the air with one or two quick series' of attacks. This is often cheap and embarrassing, also proves how broken Tekken tends to be. Street Fighter is not unfamiliar with this issue though for anyone who played Street Fighter Alpha 3 and knew Akuma well. Diago proved the world just what he could do and how broken Akuma was, (Diago is the greatest Street Fighter champion of all time). But with Tekken you could do this with almost any character if you were cheap enough making the game rather imbalanced.

Soul Calibur was also made by Namco makers of Tekken and falls into the same traps as Tekken. The most recent Soul Calibur I find to be well balanced offline but a horrible game online. Because of button lag, a few characters can be exploited in such a way where the person using him in that way cannot lose. I'm looking at you Astaroth and Ivy. After 15 hours of not being able to counter because of button lag, I gave up. For those unaware, button lag is when you press a button and nothing happens on screen for a few seconds. This may sound negligible, but in a fighting game it is VITAL. So basically I see a trick come at me from Astaroth I am used to seeing, I know HOW to counter it, and I even know it's coming, but I can't counter it in time. I would have to be psychic and predict that he's going for the move before it happens and do the appropriate counter before the animation even begins. Why does this make the game worse if the online component is the only thing holding it back? Well because Street Fighter II HD Remix is online and there is ZERO button lag. So Street Fighter wins again.

I could go on and on but I'd rather not. So look for Street Fighter IV everyone, it should be a grand game indeed.

*Ryu: Hadoken! Sagat: Wait, wait what? Ryu: ...hadoken...? Sagat: Yes that, what the hell is that? Ryu: Your end Sagat! Sagat: Sounds like the name of a failed vacuum cleaner to me....*

Resident Evil : Degeneration - The Good, The Bad, and The What the hell is that!?

Anyone who reads our blog, i.e. no one, knows exactly how I felt about Dead Space: Downfall. It left a sour taste in my mouth that only copious amounts of blood and gore could fill. In addition to that, now, it nearly cost me one of the better direct to video game movie experiences of my life. I was left feeling so icky by it that I very nearly neglected to give Resident Evil: Degeneration a shot. What a shame that would have been!

Resident Evil is a long standing series of good horror games that has somehow mutated into an amazing action game. This latest installment was a fully CG movie that followed the continuing adventures of the main character from both RE2 and 4, Leon S. Kennedy, or as he shall henceforth be known, Badass S. Badasserson. The film also takes the female lead from 2, Claire Redfield, and inserts her next to him again. As a sort of reunion of two characters I love of old, it was nice. That aside, the movie was just FUN.

It begins in an airport when Claire, who is now a member of an anti-bioengineering group, arrives, presumably to harass or otherwise inconvenience an arriving senator thought to be behind the nuking of Racoon City years earlier. Shortly thereafter, as with everywhere Claire has EVER gone outside of the bathroom, zombies attack. This new spread of the ever dangerous T-virus is immediately viewed as terrorism by the U.S. Government, who send in their ultimate weapon: Badass S. Badasserson himself, armed with a pistol and a stylish leather jacket. The movie quickly explodes from there into a nonstop action extravaganza of exploding heads, flying limbs, and the constant yelling of the words "Aim for the head!" Fans of Claire will be happy to hear that, as is traditional, she catches a gun in a physically improbable way at the last second to shoot an enemy.

The villain was actually one of the most well made in the series, having a clear motivation for once. Usually, RE villains either leave me confused and wishing I knew what the hell was going on (Wesker) or laughing at their countless silly voices (every other villain, most notably the inexplicable French midget in 4). The only scary villains are the ones with absolutely NO attempt at a story, i.e. Mr. X and the Nemisis.

I'm finding it difficult to continue typing here, as I don't want to give anything away, and if the movie has one major flaw, its not having a whole lot to hide. It was very straightforward, start to finish, without much of a plot to speak of. The only other problem I have with it is a lack of monsters. The only creatures involved were the zombies, and one big G-Virus critter, ala William Birkin from 2. To me, the games hav never felt like zombie games so much as monster games where one of the possible monsters to fight is zombies, but that could just be me.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that if you are a fan of Resident Evil, you will greatly enjoy this movie. It has monsters, silly action scenes, bad dialogue, and just enough absurdity to keep you from taking yourself too seriously. It's classic RE, in all its warped glory, and it has me chomping at the bit for Resident Evil 5. Enjoy.

Five out of Five Shambling Corpses

Resisting Resistance 2

One word review: Disappointing. Resistance 2 is not what you think it should be in any way shape or form. It deviates so much from the first Resistance that you forget you are playing the sequel to a game, that in many ways, brought the words 'next gen game' into full meaning. I will attempt to describe why you should resist Resistance 2.

1. Story Progression - Unlike Resistance 1 where it was unique in telling the story from a third party perspective in narration and generally giving the player a keen understanding of the events surrounding the chimera and mysterious Nathan Hale, Resistance 2 tries to be Half-Life where the story plays out as you go in real time. While this isn't a bad thing, it is when the main character suddenly transforms from a mysterious war hero to trying to be like everyone in Gears of War simply barking out orders to everyone constantly and the writers pat themselves on the back for a job well done. Problem is, there isn't a story here at all. I wouldn't normally mind that if the first Resistance didn't do such a great job setting up a story to begin with. For instance, Gear of War had a crappy do nothing man love story to begin with, so no one hopes for a better one in Gears of War 2 and our expectations are met. But here we have Resistance 2: Listen to Hale Yell A lot 'of Man'.

2. Game play - While I normally commend designers for changing things up in the sequel, this is not the case for Resistance 2. Everything they changed here was honestly for the worse. The health system in Resistance 1 gave you four tiny life bars that could be rejuvenated by picking up health items. Resistance 2 has the Call of Duty 4 / Halo way of doing things where you get shot and sit in a corner to heal for a bit. problem is with Resistance 2 you die so quickly that there are few times where finding cover is an option. Especially when the enemies can shoot through solid objects most of the time, or when 60% of cover spaces leaves your head wide open even while ducking.

Resistance 1 allowed you to have a shit ton of fun weapons (even if most of them were useless). Resistance 2 allows you to only ever have 2 weapons at a given time. The game provides itself the necessary weapons when the situation arises. Far away enemies? Look Nathan there's a sniper rifle right there! Large behemoth monster? Rocket launcher! So, no more fun strategy playing into anything you do, you're just given the solution.

3. Difficulty will be my last game play complaint, but trust you me I could go on. Resistance 1 had the aura of being very hard, and enemies were tough to take down and they had 100% accuracy. But, it really wasn't that hard of a game since you got bountiful health items and ammo. Not to mention it was fun and each level was very short and had maybe 1 or 2 checkpoints. You didn't die much is what I'm getting at. Resistance 2 on the other hand has 1 to 2 hour long levels with hundreds of checkpoints because the developers know you're going to need them. Instead of being a fun FPS with strategic elements like the first game, Resistance 2 has the philosophy that constant trial and error is rewarding. I'm sorry, but trying to cross a bridge getting bum rushed by Drones while enemies with Augurs (shoots through walls) fire away at you (3 hits your dead) while you have insufficient weapons and are dying for an hour straight is not my idea of a good time. Another instance plays out where seemingly endless hoards of Drones come at you in a tiny cornered off section where my only success came in tricking the AI by putting Nathan in the middle of a small staircase. Apparently, that just throws the AI for a loop and not ALL of them rushed me. There are many, many more moments like this where you will die countless times only to move a few paces ahead in the game.

Oh, and need I mention the game comes complete with 2 different enemies that kill you in 1 hit just for the fun of it? Yeah because it does. Fall into the water? Yeah you are dead since the invincible fish army will destroy you. That's right you can't kill them even though you can see them just a few feet away from you in the water. And the invisible chameleon enemies kill you in 1 hit, and you kill them in about the same amount which is at least fair. What I love is there is always a checkpoint before and after these guys because the developers probably felt bad about it.

Alright, so my complaints are in the main game mostly. Which is a shame, because I bought it for the main game. The multiplayer is quite spectacular though. I won't go into much detail but I will say it does what most other FPS games do only better. Capture the flag, co-op modes, death matches so on and so on. Things that will be useless in about 2 years since no one will play it anymore. Which is why I never like to review the multiplayer since it will be obsolete at some point.

Are there any redeeming qualities in the solo campaign? My answer is unfortunately no.

*Technically, while playing you should hear this a lot, "Hale? Haaale? HAAAAAAALE!!!!"*